Thursday, 1 February 2018

There's been a post trending on social media and I'm sure almost everyone has seen it, but if you're among the few people that haven't seen it then here it is...

"I've seen men leave 5-10 year relationships,  turn around and get married to a woman he's known for 6 months. And does all the things he's ex begged him to do. Word of advice, stop preaching to these men, they hear you. He's not going to ever be the man you want him to be because you're not the woman he wants to be with. People change for who they want!! Period."

A lot of ladies think it's their fault when the relationship doesn't work out. They constantly ask themselves what they did wrong, if they should have lost that extra 10 pounds, if they should have been more submissive, quit their careers, become his sex doll etc. But most of the time it has nothing to do with you! Nigga just got bored of you!

Now, picture this with me....
You meet this new guy, he's sweet and nice, unbelievably caring and all, charming, cute, listens to you, rubs your foot at the end of a stressful day blah blah....  So you fall for him (you know us gals, we fall for silly things don't blame us ☺). It's 6 months in and everything is still perfect, you can't believe how blessed and lucky you are! Let's fast forward to 3 years into the relationship. Over familiarity has set in, you now feel so comfortable, you let things slide. You don't have a life of your own without him. Boys night out you go with him. You drink with him. You cancel your schedule to fit with his. You literally cut almost everyone you know out. You cook. Do the whole wifey duties and all.....  You see where we are going here? Good.




We all make these mistakes at one point in our relationship lives then we wonder why he's now treating us like his drinking buddy!
He's taking you for granted because you let him. Remember how you were at the beginning? Had a voice of yours? had friends of yours? had a career or school? You had a life before him! So you can still have a life after him!

Don't stay in a relationship because of the idea of being in a relationship. Stay in a relationship because you're happy, loved and in love, and because of every right reason!

Don't let a guy treat you like crap. The minute you start a life of your own, make friends, travel, just take a break from that guy who's taking you for granted and watch him go back to that sweet man he was at the beginning. But if he doesn't, then he never was yours. Your man is out there, but don't put your life on hold waiting for him!

And honey, treat yourself with respect!


Monday, 22 January 2018

Aren't we all lazy at some point in our lives? I was lazy all morning, and that's what inspired this post. I had a whole lot of things on my to-do list and I realized if I didn't get my lazy ass off the couch nothing will be checked out!

So I started with the most pressing thing on my list (publishing a post on the blog! You see for over a week I've written 3 different posts but I just didn't feel the timing was right to publish hence the long gap before this post. And I'm truly sorry for that!) and from there I found myself accomplishing a thing or two.

Now, the question is how do you get your lazy self to get things done?  I'd share a few tips with you below :

You can't get anything done if your ass is still on the couch! Stop surfing the internet, switch off that TV, that series you're watching will still be there when you get back! You'd realize you've spent half the day doing absolutely nothing with more work load piling up. So get off the couch.

Sometimes we're just mentally exhausted from life and all that's happening, and we just can't bring our selves to do anything no matter how important it is. A walk is about the best therapy. Get a calm music playing while you go on that walk, its an added bonus.

In case you don't know what the two minutes rule is, read all about it here. It works like magic and I'm sure you'd find yourself checking off a lot from your to-do list.

you're probably just exhausted and a little nap won't hurt you. Set your alarm for 30 minutes and take that nap! Don't let it exceed 30 minutes cause you'd get so exhausted and sleepy. And don't snooze your alarm too no matter how tempting it might be.

I try out this few tips whenever I find myself being lazy and sluggish and it works most of the time. So I hope you try it out when the lazy you takes over your body!

I'd love to know how you handle your laziness and things you do to get active again(lets communicate in the comments section).


Tuesday, 2 January 2018

"If only we looked at ourselves with the same eyes we use to look at the "perfect" celebrities then we'd have no worries in life. "  -Ufashions Blog

At a point in our lives, everyone has gone through a point of low self-esteem which is healthy. But we have some people who know nothing else but hate or disgust for themselves which isn't healthy.
There was a point in my life I weighed 110kg, I was at my worst point in life! You see, I had not always been overweight but one thing led to the other and I just let my self loose control. I was bitter, always compared myself to everyone and I thought I deserved less for being overweight. I'm sure a lot of people loved me then, but I didn't let myself see me as beautiful not to talk of loving me. My self esteem was a big zero! So I decided to loose some weight to feel better and I tried a lot of things till I finally got down to 70kg but I still didn't feel worthy! Took me a while to realize that the weight wasn't the problem because I could be anorexic and still not feel worthy so I tried out a few things which I'd share with you below and gradually, I began to love myself! Fast forward to now and people tell me I'm obsessed with myself! If only they knew how I got to this point in life.

Try this few methods of mine to boost your low self esteem and watch how you'd notice so many things you never thought yourself capable of!

* Stop criticizing yourself : as difficult as it might be for someone who always finds fault in all they do, the moment you stop criticizing yourself that's the first step to boosting your self esteem. Take a minute or two everyday to appreciate your body, your life accomplishments, and your career.

* Handle mistakes in a positive way : you made a mistake yes but you don't have to dwell on it for the rest of your life. Accept your mistakes, fix it if you can and if you can't take it as one of lifes many lessons. Move on from it to something better.

* Don't compare yourself to anyone : You're free to admire someone and wish for things you don't have. But if you have to feel bad about yourself cause someone is doing better than you are then you need to take a break from social media and life in general! No one is better than you are unless you give them such power.

* Take 2 minutes to appreciate yourself daily : Everyday, you have 2 minutes to appreciate yourself. And be grateful for all you are and all you have. At the end of the day, write down the things you appreciate about yourself. Do this till it becomes a habit.

* Spend more time with people who encourage you to be better without putting you down.

* And always know you are enough. You might not know it, but someone out there sees you as an inspiration. And always love yourself all the time.

This few methods above helped me boost my self esteem. Not immediately but gradually and I can proudly say fat or skinny, I love me more ☺ and I truly hope this post helps someone out there.



Thursday, 21 December 2017

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting of until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.”– Napoleon Hill
When the queen of procrastination tells you there's a way to get over it then you listen and put it to action too!

I've always been one who procrastinates so much that even when I get things done, I don't feel fulfilled cause I didn't achieve it in due time. In college I always procrastinated reading (good thing I graduated with good grades though it affected some of my results) . I procrastinate going out with friends, doing my laundry, doing that work out I've planned for ages, making that phone call etc.. I procrastinated this post too!

I'm still a work in progress, so I'd share a little trick that keeps me going.
It's called the 2 minutes rule : whatever you want to get done and you find yourself putting it off till the next hour or the next day, just try it for the first 2 minutes and see if you want to continue.

Want to read a book?
Want to go on a run?
Want to call that friend?
Want to start a diet?
Want to start a new project?

What ever it is you plan on doing try it out for the first 2 minutes and see how it goes from there. Don't forget that procrastination is the killer of time, and even if we want to indulge in a minute or two of laziness, we shouldn't let it affect our entire life.

There is no guarantee the two minutes rule will work for you until you decide you want to change your lifestyle for the best.
While I'm still working on not procrastinating, you should too. So get up and get things done!!

“The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind–jump in.”– Charles R. Swindoll


Monday, 11 December 2017

The steps of insecurity: Comparison, Compensation, Competition, Compulsion, Condemnation, control."     - unknown

 “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."  - Steve Furtick

We live in a world where almost everything is faked and almost everyone is fake. The competition is so high, and most times it feels like the world is closing in on you.

We worry what other people think about us, we worry if we’re good-looking enough, we worry that we’re not doing all that we should be, we worry that we’ll fail, we worry that people will find out we’re a fraud. We worry that we’re too fat, worry if she’ll like us, worry if he likes that other girl, worry that we’re not good enough.

There are so many things that trigger insecurity; it could be a part of your body, a scar, the way you see yourself, the kind of people you associate with. Being insecure has absolutely nothing to do with being rich or poor, because there are a lot of poor people with high confidence and wealthy insecure people.

Before you can handle your insecurities, you need to know what triggers it, what makes you feel less of yourself. 

Let's do a little exercise before we proceed with how to handle your insecurities....

* Take out a notepad and write out all the bad things you feel about yourself, your scars, past mistakes, everything that makes you feel lesser than anyone else.

* Write down all the great things you feel about yourself, what you've accomplished, who you've helped along the way, things you want to accomplish, write down everything great going on in your life.

* Now compare the both write ups. How do you feel?

* Burn the notepad with the negative things on it. And keep the notepad with the positive things where you'd see it daily or when ever you feel low.

Some of the things that cause insecurities :

1) Negative self image : when you've been criticized by people over the years, you start to criticize yourself. And you never get to see how amazing you are and the great things you can accomplish because you're stuck with "what will people think?"

2) Self hate : Until you learn to love and appreciate everything about yourself, you'd be stuck comparing yourself with everyone and everything that crosses your path.

3) Fear of failure : a lot of people base their happiness on how they succeed in life. I used to fall in this category until I realized that I'm the source of my happiness and I didn't fail, I just didn't succeed at the moment and I can try again.

How can you handle your insecurities? 

1) Self acceptance : you have to love and accept yourself no matter what. No one will appreciate you if you don't appreciate yourself.

2) Practice non comparison : stop comparing yourself with everyone. We're all going through different life difficulties, but how we handle it determines how strong or weak we are. Don't compare your life with someone else's social media life.

3) Be true to yourself.

"In life, there is always someone out there, who won't like you, for whatever reason, don't let the insecurities in their lives affect yours. " 

                                              - Rashida Rowe 

" No one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. We must try to live as per our capability.  "
                           -Anil Sinha
We need to understand that no one is perfect and every day we wake up is a new opportunity to do all we ever want to do in life. 


Wednesday, 29 November 2017

Hey guys!  How are y'all doing?
Has anyone gotten to a stage in their lives where they feel they're just existing but not living? For over 2 months now I've had that feeling and it doesn't seem to be going away so I decided to document 30 things I'd do before I turn 30! By the way, I still have a long time to get to 30 since I just turned 22 this year...  But in all, I plan on living life to its fullest and to stop only existing!

My 30 before 30  list in no particular order... 

1. Travel to 5 African countries ( South Africa, Ghana, Kenya, Benin Republic and Togo).  

2. Move to my own apartment (I won't be able to do most of the things on my list if I'm still living with my parents, curfew is by 7pm in my house no matter your age! Nigerian parents Huh?!) 

3. Get another piercing on my ear : I've been meaning to do this for a while now, can't wait to check it off this list! 

4. Learn a new language : I don't have any language in mind, I just feel I'd be better speaking at least 3 to 4 different languages. 

5. Go hiking! I can't believe I spent half of 2016 in Abuja and I never went hiking. I should go back soon and get this off the list too. 

6. Get a car : I can't  afford one at the moment but well I still have some time to save up for it! Plus I hate public transport and I can't spend all my money on uber. 

7. Go on a trip to Germany /Paris : I've been obsessing over this two countries, and I can't wait to be able to afford a trip to one or both of them ❤

8. Get my masters degree : since I'm done with my bachelor's degree, the next in line is bagging my masters degree. I planned on doing that immediately after college, but I decided to take a while off going to school and learning other life lessons. 

9. Take my footwear brand to the next level : I own a denim footwear brand (@ufashionsfootwears on IG (please check it out) and I can't wait to take it to a higher level). 

10. Go on a cleanse (I always attempt this then fail, I need to get it over with already)! 

11. Get a puppy or two! Or maybe 10!

12. Go to New York! (I really hope to do this one soon) 

13. Start working out at least 5 times a week ( I hate sweating).

14. Stay away from negative vibes.. 

15. Stop procrastinating! (for reals girl get your shit together!) 

16. Attend at least one bloggers brunch (I always plan to attend but for some reason I never do ) 

17. Go to Lagos (I've spent my life in Nigeria, I've travelled to at least 15 states but I've never been to Lagos! Unbelievable!) 

18. Go on road trips! 

19. Learn to bake (well I can make pancakes, chin chin, buns, and that's all lol). 

20. Attend a fashion show (must do ASAP) 

21. Build a stronger religious life!  (I go to church and all, but I need my spiritual life to be on a higher level ASAP). 

22. Eat Amala (now I really need to go to Lagos for this or any Yoruba state!) 

23. Go on a shopping spree (girl is on a budget can't try this at the moment ). 

24. Grow my blog (have loyal readers, make this blog feel like home (can you guys help me accomplish that? Yes?) 

25. Do something spontaneous for once!

26. Become a celebrity (oh yes you read right! I didn't come here just to exist ).

27. Get my COREN certificate (that is become a registered engineer (your girl is a civil engineer yo!) and work with bigger firms or have my own company). 

28. Go on a girls only trip (don't I need girlfriends for this? My best friend has so many personalities though and I have a lot of sisters too!) 

29. Be happy  and give to charity at least once a year.

30. Get married to the love of my life / have 2 or 3 kids (haha before my village people starting hosting meetings on my behalf ). 

Wow! Making this list really made me realize I should start living more, because we only get one chance at life and how we spend it really matters. 

How exciting is your life and what do you do for fun? I'd love to know! Let's communicate in the comments section .


Monday, 20 November 2017

There are several accessories we can live without and there are some we can't do without. Handbags fall in the list of the accessories we can't live without. Especially ladies handbags! Where are we going to put our phones, makeups,  ATM cards, hand moisturizers and many other valuable / non valuable things we always carry around?

In this post, we'd be discussing the 5 types of handbags every lady should own in no particular order :

* The Leather Satchel
* The Backpack
* The Clutch
* The Shoulder Bag
* The Cross-body

* The Leather Satchel 
This is a typical work kinda bag. Since it mostly comes in the medium to large size, it can take almost anything. College students will find this type of bag fit, since they have laptops and handouts/textbooks to work with daily. Photographers,  architects,  cooks,  street style fashionistas and a whole lot of on the move professions will find the leather satchel to be of great use.

*The Backpack 
Oh hello casual! This type of bag isn't the typical handbag,  since it's mostly carried on the back....  But over the years it has become a fashion norm. A lot of ladies carry it when they are casually dressed. Adding this bag to one's collection is so necessary! It's advisable not to get one that's too big, so it doesn't feel like carrying a camel on your back.

* The Clutch 
This is more like a fancy purse, cause you can't get more than your phone and lipstick in it!  But the beautiful thing about this type of bag is it's easy to carry about without breaking your arm. It's mostly carried on the red carpet, to weddings, dinner dates, etc. It's definitely a must have for the ladies.

*The Shoulder Bag 
This kind of handbags are beautiful when they are big, but not too big though if not it looks like something else and just might drag down the shoulder of whoever is carrying it! And we don't want that to happen, do we?
The professional ladies always carry this bag, the bankers, the lawyers, a lot of fashion bloggers own this type of bag. The bag literally takes in everything thrown into it. You can even put a baby in it.........  You didn't read that on my blog!!  But you get the picture, the bag has so much space in it, and it's a must have too!

*The Cross-body 
Just as the name, the bag is mostly crossed over. This bag offers you free body movements, while keeping your necessities closer. It's also chicer than the backpack. The bag always comes with an adjustable strap so you can fit it to whatever length you prefer. It's also advisable to get a small to medium size type, so it doesn't get in your way. Don't go too small and don't go too big so it doesn't overwhelm you....

This is all for now, till the next post!
I hope you enjoyed the post, and I'd love to know what bags you prefer carrying and which is a must in your closet!